Saturday, December 30, 2006
Met up with Shermin and Nithya today. Went to Liquid Kitchen to eat and drink. Hehe. Ordered Fondue, mexican chicken wings and alcohol. Haha. Today was really nice. It was as though i helped match make the long time primary school best friends, nithya and shermin together. Was really nice to see them catch up with old times. =D After that, met up with nigel for a while to pass him a liverpool calendar as his xmas present. Was really nice to see him again. Haha. Got to see his permed hair. LOL! It looks like a wig on him, but he still looks good nevertheless. =DHere are the pictures for today's outing. =D
I've sent my phone for repair and won't get it back till wednesday. Oh man. I don know how im gona live without my phone! Yeah, so anyways, don call my phone the next few days alright. =D Yeah. I actually bought a puppy this morning. But ill only get it on wednesday, after the puppy is vacinated. Haha. However, apparently, silky terrier aren't cute when they grow up. They're only cute when they are in the puppy stage. So my family decided to call the place up and request for a change of dog. Haha. Going over to pasir ris to change the dog tomorrow morning before we head to the new year eve party. Let me show you the young silky terrier and the grown up version and you'll understand.
Anyways, i really feel that i didn't elucidate things properly to some people. Thats why misunderstandings keep occuring. I did alot of self reflection on my long bus ride home from woodlands. Honestly, i never did treat the guys that ive dated after nigel as a substitute of him. I confirmed my feelings for the opposite party first before agreeing to a relationship. No one was a substitute for anybody. I do know that if they are, it would be totally unfair to the other party.I did move on from that relationship with my ex-ex. I spent nights crying myself to sleep for almost three months. And i did move on from there. He was the only guy i ever shed my tears for, and i know that its impossible for us to go on due to distance, time and school. The other two guys ive dated after him were not substitutes. I truly did fall for them but things just didn't work out. There was always something missing and that intense love just died after sometime. With my latest relationship, everything that i felt was genuine and i did not end the relationship because i am still in love with my ex-ex. I was unhappy and miserable with the way things are going and i can't seem to connect with him anymore. I was too tired to think and what makes things worse is that we have absolutely different thinkings.
Loving my ex-ex was just something that has been hidden deep down in my heart. The part whereby those wonderful memories were kept. It was unlocked when i compared the miserable state i was in to the past. I began to fall for that guy i remember so vividly in my mind. I wanted him back, to be able to fall madly in love again. This mentality only happened a few days before our breakup- when we were on a timeout. You may say i am immature, but i do need time to learn and grow. You can't expect me to grow up so fast. And i am happy the way i am. My thinking was torned between reality and the past. I wanted to end the relationship when i felt that our love was merely to a certain extent. Love is when you love everything about the person including his flaws. Despite giving a try to accept his flaws, i just can't do it. And as time went by, the flaws was all that i see that made me miserable.
An apology was all that i could offer. I am truly sorry for the way things have turned out to be. I never meant for him to get hurt. I know ive made lots of mistakes in this relationship and i am learning from them. I believe there will be another for you, but the girl's just not me. Perhaps in time to come, we can continue to be friends we once were.
Labels: Apologies, Friends, Love, Memories, Misunderstandings, Outing, Puppy
::10:36 pm